BABY STEPS

Last year I drowned in negativity. I struggled to transition into motherhood, while staying my own person. Some days I didn't want to be a wife or a mother, I just wanted to be Katie again. Letting people affect me and stepping back from my business really hurt me in that aspect. And I felt crushing guilt. I mentioned in an earlier post that I have been listening to the audiobook, Bringing up Bebe, which is the account of an American woman raising a baby in France. Something that I appreciated about the French women, is that they don't let motherhood completely consume them. When they become mothers, it's just another part of who they are, not the only defining trait. The difference of shaming there compared to America seems vastly different. Here you are shamed for breathing wrong  around a baby. I feel like people are going to judge me if I dress nicely to go to town for simple errands, like that effort should have gone into raising my child, when the rest of the week will be sweat pants and greasy hair. Drucker claims that French women don't turn into "Moms" in the sense of only wearing sweats and never going out or having free time. There is nothing wrong with that either if that's your thing, the wrong is in shaming someone for being a human with needs as well. My quest for balance is going to be difficult, but I need to find it to be better in all of the roles I play.