year in review: 2018

 Another year is almost over, where does the time go?
I haven't been here much this year, but hopefully that changes next year.
This was another year of discovery, joy, pain, and growth, and I feel like a better person for it.


I've been on a weird path of trying to find my identity since getting married and having kids. I lost everything I was and most of what I enjoyed and tried to become what I thought I should be. This past year I finally started letting go of that, and tried to get back to what I've always enjoyed, and am slowly finding myself again. I don't know why we believe we should take on new personalities, hobbies, and goals when we reach a certain age or point in our lives, but I fell into that and learned the hard way that I couldn't make myself into something I couldn't or didn't necessarily want to be.

The most important thing I did this year for my mental health was filter my social media intake. I deleted my facebook and really cut down my personal instagram following in certain areas. If you're going through postpartum depression or depression in general, you're not always seeing things clearly, and the last thing I needed to look at everyday were perfect mom accounts. Yes, like most of us they mainly share highlights, and their life does not look like that all the time, but when I'm depressed I just see perfection and start picking apart my shortcomings. Take a break and come back to those accounts when you're thinking clearly and can be supportive and happy for them. Personally, I have a business account where I tend to keep big businesses, other wedding photographers, and influencers, so that I can visit it in a healthy mindset. (Also, I've found that being "Present" on social media and actually commenting compliments, even when I feel shy or weird doing so, was great for making me feel better as well! Mutual love and support makes social media an entirely different experience.)
Another really important thing I did, was take part in Inktober. Art was a part of my everyday life growing up, and actually my hope for a future career, but when I decided to venture into photography, I abandoned it. With the age of social media, there is a lot of pressure to only do what has the potential to gain attention, likes, or monetization. I realized how ridiculous it was that I was suffering with not feeling like myself, when I had stopped doing everything that once fulfilled and sort of defined me. I didn't complete Inktober, but I started drawing again and that was success for me.

I've shared a little about my Project Life, but despite my lack of posting about it, I really rocked it this year, and am almost completely caught up. I want to try to share more of this side of my interests, but there is a weird personal aspect to it, so I'm not entirely comfortable sharing all of them.